Selfish Ignorance

Soapbox time.

There is one thing that causes me to lose, little by little, faith in modern relationships: when a pair of people are so engrossed in their own affairs that they lose sight of the repercussions of their actions; when they fail to see how the way that they are acting will affect the organization that they are working for or the people that they are responsible to.

Mostly, I am talking about when people try to justify bending (or breaking) regulations set down by the authorities, such as never being alone with a member of the opposite sex, because they "have the trust of the people in charge."

That doesn't matter. It's not about you. It doesn't matter if you don't know each other; it doesn't matter if you're getting married in a week.

This isn't about your trustworthiness. It isn't about your character. It's about the face of the organization that you work for and are accountable to. If someone sees you walking into an isolated place with someone of the opposite sex, and that person doesn't know you, then they can spread rumors and ruin the reputation of the organization.

I don't care if your authorities will defend you. Do you think that your "alone time" with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or "soon-to-be spouse" is important enough to make an entire organization deal with the repercussions that come from it?

The main problem that I see is a thing I call "selfish ignorance," where a person becomes so habitually concerned about their own interests and "needs" that they fail to see the whole picture and the dangers of what they are doing; when you fail to see that your "need" to be alone with 'that' person and your vice of intimacy is not only risking a defacing of the organization's reputation, but it is setting a terrible example for those under you, because, after all, if you can be alone with your fiance, why can't I be alone with my girlfriend?

This selfish ignorance causes the importance of one's concern to be inflated to such a magnitude that they habitually and unnoticeably take precedence over the concerns that are to the best interest of all. It happens so naturally, in fact, that over time, the person becomes completely unaware that they are focusing entirely on themselves, and covering over it with a facade of selfless concern. They try to cover up their selfishness by smothering it in loud humility and obvious sacrifice, but their selfishness lives on, unnoticed by any, not even themselves.

If you remain around these people for long, you begin to see a figure in their speech; in their actions; in their stories. This figure surrounds all that they encompass and all that they concern themselves with, Though they try to follow the Figure, they cannot rid their thoughts of this one figure. The figure is themselves. And the thoughts about that figure are so self-serving and so satisfying to that person that they continue to partake in those thoughts, forming a habit.

Here's the deal: Stop thinking about yourself. Stop thinking about your partner. It's not about you. It's about the big picture. You are a small seed in an infinite forest. You have very little to offer, but you can make a lot of difference in the world. It's your choice whether that difference is good or bad. Because if you continue to act like your desires are more important than those rules and that your wants supersede rationality, if you continue to find loopholes that falsely justify your decisions, then you will lose both my respect for you and the people's respect for the organization and even the religion that we hold to.

You're not special enough to get a green card, allowing you to break rules that inhibit your satisfaction. Maybe you're used to being served everything on a plate and getting everything you want, but welcome to the real world: you don't get everything you want. If you can't handle being limited, that's probably the main reason why I can't spend more than a few hours around you. Start not thinking about yourself.

In the words of a professor at OCC: "Selflessness is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

Think about yourself less, and care a little bit more about the ministries that you have the power to expand or destroy.