Silent Conversations

The character that defines me and the person that I have become over the years is a direct result of time spent alone with God. Silence and Solitude are the two heavy hitters in my spiritual disciplines for the molding of my person. I've listened to well-put-together sermons and gone to many fantastic conventions and sat through many Sunday Schools and Wednesday Nights, and those have aided me in my pursuit of God, but the times which really alter my soul and my being are the times where I stop trying to actively learn new things about God and let Him speak new things into me. Sadly, sometimes I get so worked up in the joy of increasing my knowledge of God that I forget all about stopping for a moment and listening to Him. 

I am a product of long drives and even longer walks - of minutes and hours alone in the stillness, waiting for God. As foolish as it may sound, the memories of those times are some of the most joyful memories I have, for it is in those times that God speaks into my troubles, my anxiousness, and my fear and calms it; it is in those times that God highlights my successes and my victories. I generally take more intimate encouragement from my quiet times with God than I do with my loud times with friends. My friends speak to my ears and my mind, but God speaks to my heart and my soul; God gets to take a shortcut and split me right down the middle and pick apart my innermost being. When I sit and am quiet before God, He reaches beyond my defenses and gets right to the issue at hand. He convicts, challenges, and encourages without taking any unneeded steps to get there. My community is a great supporter in my Christian walk, but there is nothing better or more necessary for a Christian than an intimate, two-way relationship with God.

What I'm trying to say is this: Even though you've got ten thousand things to do today and twenty thousand to do tomorrow, how much more important are they than your relationship with God? Next time you're driving alone, would you maybe think of flipping off the radio and just listening? When you find you have an extra half hour on your hands, would it be better spent on Facebook or listening to God? I'm not condemning anyone for not spending all their time quiet before God, obviously, but I do know that quiet time is something that I struggle to maintain. I really would encourage everyone who reads this to try and schedule just 10 minutes a day to isolate yourself and spend the time just listening. I know I've been amazed with how far I've come and what I've become through my quiet time with God.

A Ticking Clock

My time on this earth is not promised. I am favored to even be alive on the earth at this moment, and every second that passes by is a second in which we are all allowed to exist. God's grace is silently apparent to all who recognize this wonderful act, for as long as God continues to let his broken creation press on in their pursuit of him, more and more people are drawn to the truth of God and his unfathomable mercy and love.

So where am I going with this? Well, here's the thought that I'm thinking right now (though it's really late, and I'm probably just going off on an exhaustion-induced rant):

This life that I'm living, and this flesh that I exist in has never been insured against a sudden end or termination. I am living a life that can, at any moment, be snuffed out and go from exciting to extinct. I think a lot of people don't realize this, or prefer to conveniently look over it. I wonder how much differently people would act, speak, and think if they knew for a fact that they only had two hours to live. I wonder if they would have a different conversation with their friend in the car if they knew they were both going to die in a head-on collision in 30 seconds. I wonder if the husband would refrain from yelling at his wife if he knew she would die of a heart attack in 15 minutes. I wonder if parents would try to enjoy their kids more and kids would act a little better if they knew that their other family members were close to dying. Have you ever noticed that terminally ill patients seem to be treated so nicely by everyone they come into contact with? This makes me wonder one more thing.

Would I act differently as a Christ follower if I knew I was going to die in 24 hours?

Well, of course I would! I would go out and proclaim Christ on the streets! I would go and repair some broken relationships, forge some new ones, plant some seeds, and pull some weeds. I would try to set everything in order that I have for so long been putting off. I would pursue the attainment of harmony in my life before I passed.

So, then, I have to wonder something else: Why am I not living like that right now? After all, I've established that my time is not guaranteed, and my minutes' number is not known to anyone but God. I could die in my bed as I'm writing this post; I could die in 5 minutes; I could die in 5 decades; either way, one thing is certain: I will die. I have a very, very short time to live my life here on this earth, and I am beginning to get sick and tired of myself when I push things off or procrastinate. Honestly, I don't have time to procrastinate; We don't have time to procrastinate. I cannot afford to use my time for myself. My time belongs to God, and God is all about people. And if God is all about people, then that means that I, as a Christian, as a physical mirror of God, must be all about people as well. I must put aside all selfishness and proclaim the Gospel to those in need of it. I need to get down in the mud with people and speak Christ to them. I need to get out of my comfy bed and sleep on hard concrete floors if that's what it will take to bring someone to Christ.

My nervousness, embarrassment, shame, and awkwardness really don't mean anything, because I am not my own, I am Christ's. Everything I am - everything I do, say, think, and pray - needs to be dedicated to God and his purpose. I have a short 80- years to complete the task he has given me, and I'll need every second to do so. I honestly look at the decades I may have and I wonder how in the world I will be able to do all of what I am called to do. But I place my faith in Christ and in his unfailing grace. If he takes me today, he is good. If he takes me in 90 years, he is just as good. The lord takes us when he wills, but we do as much as we can before our end.